Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
