Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
