boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
