Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
