So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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