wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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