did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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