Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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