He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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