I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
