he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
my poor anus
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
