Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
