I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered