Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Food network will be on but we won't be watching

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  O by "watching" I mean "background noise"

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  (248): Food network will be on but we won't be watching (1-248): O by "watching" I mean "background noise" http://tfl.nu/n3tt
  Replies (2) Good night (1181) Bad night (523)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.

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  (954): Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song. http://tfl.nu/556m
  Replies (16) Good night (4248) Bad night (1267)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.

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  (607): I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/vi3x
  Replies (32) Good night (10276) Bad night (984)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.

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  (918): My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost. http://tfl.nu/50uv
  Replies (32) Good night (950) Bad night (3123)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.

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  (303): Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential. http://tfl.nu/x59i
  Replies (6) Good night (1967) Bad night (1096)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?

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  (678): Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up? http://tfl.nu/320o
  Replies (10) Good night (2937) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."

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  (734): It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE." http://tfl.nu/k46u
  Replies (8) Good night (787) Bad night (1854)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?

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  (203): Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night? http://tfl.nu/3u1b
  Replies (5) Good night (1477) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.

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  (724): The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent. http://tfl.nu/afyt
  Replies (12) Good night (1755) Bad night (862)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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  (434): do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night? (540): yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you. http://tfl.nu/hqli
  Replies (1) Good night (904) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.

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  (250): Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street (250): It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any. http://tfl.nu/mi10
  Replies (1) Good night (901) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.

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  (503): My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon. (503): I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me. http://tfl.nu/sdzr
  Replies (6) Good night (1002) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.

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  (856): Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me. http://tfl.nu/z4xw
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.

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  (614): First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach. http://tfl.nu/62xl
  Replies (4) Good night (261) Bad night (748)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?

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  (281): Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"? http://tfl.nu/b1oc
  Replies (4) Good night (320) Bad night (352)

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