Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
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Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick