Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

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(780): Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube. http://tfl.nu/uqzu

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(225): View more from Louisiana

i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels

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(225): i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels http://tfl.nu/zg26

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.

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(919): Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd. http://tfl.nu/5f3i

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.

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(814): I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester. http://tfl.nu/p4o8

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(217): View more from Illinois

i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.

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(217): i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood. http://tfl.nu/a0o1

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.

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(832): Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen. http://tfl.nu/umfy

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(343): View more from Ontario

I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time

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(343): I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time http://tfl.nu/okao

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(623): View more from Arizona

and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.

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(623): and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/5lux

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(563): View more from Iowa

Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.

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(563): Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks. http://tfl.nu/j9ui

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.

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(403): My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind. http://tfl.nu/y5d8

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(575): View more from New Mexico

He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year

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(575): He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year http://tfl.nu/6pry

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(313): View more from Michigan

Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.

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(313): Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This. http://tfl.nu/r466

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(904): View more from Florida

It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.

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(904): It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo. http://tfl.nu/jdtj

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(318): View more from Louisiana

My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter

(504): View more from Louisiana

Is this a considering it or regretting it text?

(318): View more from Louisiana

I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.

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(318): My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter (504): Is this a considering it or regretting it text? (318): I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/wpzn

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(712): View more from Iowa

Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?

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(712): Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow? http://tfl.nu/ikca

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