her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off