so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
