Texts From Last Night

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  (559): View more from California

  I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great

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  (559): I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great http://tfl.nu/r602
  Replies (5) Good night (2865) Bad night (506)
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  (707): View more from California

  left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen

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  (707): left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen http://tfl.nu/p86b
  Replies (13) Good night (645) Bad night (4757)
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  (661): View more from California

  It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.

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  (661): It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing. http://tfl.nu/ex7a
  Replies (116) Good night (11690) Bad night (1901)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!

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  (212): Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?! http://tfl.nu/8o3k
  Replies (18) Good night (1329) Bad night (4613)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.

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  (601): Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit. http://tfl.nu/lbl1
  Replies (7) Good night (2600) Bad night (711)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips

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  (217): I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips http://tfl.nu/378x
  Replies (4) Good night (1302) Bad night (727)
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  (707): View more from California

  She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.

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  (707): She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast. http://tfl.nu/czk4
  Replies (12) Good night (584) Bad night (2652)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.

  (1-315): View more from New York

  I fucking hate you.

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  (315): My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present. (1-315): I fucking hate you. http://tfl.nu/u3wv
  Replies (9) Good night (1980) Bad night (493)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.

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  (407): If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3. http://tfl.nu/ytxl
  Replies (3) Good night (1356) Bad night (494)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.

  (254): View more from Texas

  It's 2 pm....

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  (940): I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas. (254): It's 2 pm.... http://tfl.nu/onth
  Replies (3) Good night (1889) Bad night (470)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".

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  (616): The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag". http://tfl.nu/vc6w
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him

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  (951): I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him http://tfl.nu/3cah
  Replies (3) Good night (370) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.

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  (469): His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat. http://tfl.nu/3isl
  Replies (5) Good night (360) Bad night (574)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.

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  (404): Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns. http://tfl.nu/pk7n
  Replies (2) Good night (458) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  "I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it

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  (540): "I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it http://tfl.nu/ekfu
  Replies (1) Good night (416) Bad night (240)

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