I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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