U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
