This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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