I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
