so explain again why im purple
no
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize