i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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