omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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