i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
