we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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