I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
