Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The air was thick with penises
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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