I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize