I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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