She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
