i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So much rum. So many feels.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
