he wants to bone in the snuggie
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I am one with the molecules
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
