Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
