i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
