I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
smell my finger.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
