I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
