i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
