eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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