She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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