i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Watching her eat just hurts me
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
