Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
