The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
