We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
