I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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