I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
