She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
