She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
