My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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