was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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