FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i wish my penis had a tongue
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
