yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Say something about gay babies.
it was like eating out sand paper
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize