I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
