I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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