1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
