I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
