Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
