How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
