I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
