the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
