do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize