You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
