Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
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I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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