I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
