you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
