The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
