Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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