I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
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so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
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My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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