google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
