New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
