'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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