She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
