help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
