I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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